Random Hunger Games Parodies
by subliminal shady
Summary: The title explains it all. As usual, I do not own The Hunger Games trilogy. Or Eminem. Or D12. The rap group, not the District. This includes the mini series Hi, My Name Is, and the Blind Dates miniseries. Also, "Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve", and the Camouflage and Cheese Buns oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, this is Anarchy Girl, and this is my first parody fanfic. I know it doesn't make very much sense... I just checked the rules and it says absolutely nothing about play format. This would be kind of boring if it wasn't, so yeah. This is just a really dumb random thing I did. More chapters coming up, though. **

**I don't own The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, or Mockingjay. I wish I did though. Then, if Finnick absolutely had to die, I'd have made it LONGER... never mind, everyone. **

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KATNISS'S FOOT IS INJURED. SHE CAN'T HUNT, SO SHE SITS AT HOME, DEMANDING THAT PEETA SHOULD MAKE HER CHEESE BUNS.

Katniss: Peeta, can you bake me some cheese buns? And make them warm.

Peeta: Sure, Katniss. I'm the boy with the buns, after all. (Shows off his ass as he walks to the bakery)

Katniss: (sighing and giggling) Oh, Peeta, you're so FUNNY! (Walks to her house in Victor's Village and finds Peeta in her house)

Katniss: Peeta!

Peeta: Hey, Katniss. Just getting ready to make those cheese buns.

Katniss: Remember, WARM! And a lot of cheese! Not burnt!

Peeta: You're picky. Fine. (Starts to go upstairs to Katniss's bedroom)

Katniss: Peeta, where the hell are you going?

Peeta: The oven's upstairs. Come on.

Katniss: Oh. Fine. (They sit down on Katniss's bed)

Peeta: Hm.

Katniss: What now?

Peeta: I can't see the ingredients. (Starts to strip her)

Katniss: Peeta, are you high?

Peeta: You said you wanted your cheese buns... WARM... a LOT OF CHEESE... and NOT BURNT!

(Rapes Katniss)

Peeta: So, do I make good cheese buns?

Katniss: (Sighing shakily) Sure.

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**I warned you, all right? I know they'd never do anything like this in the books. I promise you, the next chapters will be better. **

**As usual, I'd love reviews... :)**


	2. Katniss Convinces Snow

**Whoever reviewed this, thank you! You will notice this is rated M. This is because of mature events later to come. Coming up soon, Cato and the Clove/Katniss mixup! But for now, let's hear about how great Peeta is at camouflaging. **

**I do not own THG trilogy, Mag's weird voice, Enobaria's teeth, or Finnick's sexiness. :) Or YouTube, for that matter. *sigh***

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75TH HUNGER GAMES TIME! TRAINING CENTER!

Peeta: Katniss, close your eyes and wait here while I camouflage myself.

Katniss: Aw, WHY?

Peeta: Fine, go tie some knots. Come back in half an hour.

(Katniss goes to the knot-tying station and ties some knots. But... SHE CAN'T FIND PEETA!)

Katniss: PEETA!

(Peeta has camouflaged himself so well that Katniss CAN'T FIND HIM!)

Peeta: Katniss, I'm right here.

Katniss: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! The Gamemakers are torturing me with the sound of his voice! They probably killed him! And I was so stupid that I WASN'T WATCHING!

Peeta: KATNISS! Calm down, I'm fine, I'm right here!

Katniss: SNOW, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS ONE!

Peeta: Katniss, SHHH!

Johanna: (She is naked) Hey, Peeta. How are you?

Peeta: Not so good. My girl is freaking out. She can't find me. I guess I camouflaged myself too well. I was only trying to impress her. Want to calm her down?

Johanna: Hell, no. I'll get Finnick. (Gets Finnick. In the background...)

Katniss: PEETA! WHERE ARE YOU? COME TO ME!

Peeta: Finnick. I'm stuck in one of your nets.

Finnick: Sorry, Peeta. I don't think I can undo that. It's super-glued because the trainer wanted to use it as an example.

Peeta: Oh, great. Just great.

Enobaria: You've got some luck.

Peeta: You think?

Katniss: PEETA! WHERE ARE YOU? I LOVE YOU, PEETA! FOR REAL!

Chaff: HAHAHA! I'm getting Haymitch! He'll kill me if he misses this! (Gets Haymitch)

Haymitch: Ha! I'm putting this on YouTube! (Starts filming)

Plutarch Heavensbee: Where's Peeta Mellark? I can't see him!

Gamemaker Guy: Camouflaged.

Plutarch: Uh-oh. Look at Katniss.

Katniss: PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETAAAAAAAAA! Where ARE YOU?

Plutarch: Woah. That was a hard hit. She just ran into a wall.

Gamemaker Guy: Youch.

Haymitch: Wow, this is great! She should do this for her talent!

Chaff: Haymitch, bro, you're being cruel. Who is that girl anyway?

Haymitch: Katniss Everdeen, the tribute I'm mentoring. Well, she's a victor. But you can hardly tell, she's so dumb.

Chaff: That makes it okay. Actually, better! HILARIOUS!

Mags: MmmmmKatnissblarrrrgghhh.

Finnick: I agree, Mags. She is overreacting. Definitely. Peeta, are you sure that you can't get out? She's almost lost it.

Blight: Johanna, you're right. This girl is not on fire. She's on drugs.

Johanna: Like me!

Morphlings: Like us!

Beetee: You all are overreacting, not just Katniss. Simply wipe off the paint. That is very easy and simple for the developed mind to process, but... (ad lib random smart stuff)

Finnick: I'll get the stuff off his face. (Rubs the paint off his head and neck)

Katniss: THEY CUT OFF HIS HEAD!

Enobaria: Here, I can fix this, stupid. (Dumps a bucket of water on Peeta)

Katniss: HE'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE! But, Peeta, you're trapped!

Beetee: Simple again! Mags, you should know! You're good with making do while making fishhooks! Why not freeing a boy from a net?

Mags: AaaahhhhTeethmmmm.

Katniss: Uh, what was that?

Finnick: (Wrapping protective arm around Mags) She said, Enobaria, use your teeth.

Enobaria: WHAT? My teeth? Why ME?

Beetee: SIMPLE! Because your teeth are sharper!

Enobaria: I guess they are. After all, I ripped out someone's throat with them! (Gnaws at the rope and frees Peeta)

Katniss: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PEETA!

Snow: I told her to convince me she's in love. You know, I think she has. Barely.

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**I ****_do_**** own Gamemaker Guy! Bye, everyone.**


	3. Hi! My Name Is D1 Edition

**Sorry for not updating. I'd love reviews! I changed the rating back to T. **

**This chapter's official theme song: My Name Is by Eminem. Not because of the content of the song, because of the title. And because Eminem is my favorite rapper.**

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**Hi! My Name Is: District One Edition**

Hi! My name is Glimmer.

Hi! My name is Marvel.

Hi! My name is Gloss.

Hi! My name is Cashmere.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Huh? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady. **Never mind that last one.**

We're the District One tributes, or Victor Tributes! We'd like to tell you a few things.

**Glimmer:** I was just reading a fanfic, and guess what I saw?

**Cashmere:** Finnick Odair?

**Glimmer:** Ooh, but no. Someone spelled my name like this... Glimer! Glimer, I tell you!

**Gloss:** That's horrible, Glimmer!

**Glimmer:** And I've heard Glimer, Gllimer, Glimmah, and every other horrible thing!

**Marvel:** Sucks for you.

**Glimmer:** And everyone makes up last names for us, that coincidentally are the same as the actor/actress's that plays us in THG movie!

**Gloss:** Sucks for... us.

**Marvel:** Well, guess what? I read a fanfic. It was an SYOT. And I saw a tribute named Glarvel!

**Glimmer:** Like... my name and yours combined?

**Marvel:** Exactly! Get original, people!

**Gloss:** Well, you know what? Just because I have a fairly unisex name, everyone keeps fucking up my gender! They forgot I'm a guy!

**Cashmere:** Wait... you're a guy?

**Gloss:** NOT FUNNY!

**Cashmere:** I thought it was. Anyway, everyone keeps assuming that since my name is Cashmere, that's the only fabric I wear!

**All:** GASP!

**Glimmer:** And remember, everyone. Shine, Glitter, Sparkle, and Diamond are not very original names.

**All:** Goodbye, dear reader!

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**As always, review! No offense to those of you who gender bend or have un-original names. I've done it myself, except for the gender bending. **

**I'm going to do this for every District, so be prepared!**

**Oh, and I don't own "My Name Is" by Eminem. That fifth hi-my-name-is was part of the lyrics.  
**


	4. Hi! My Name is D2 Edition

**Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciated them. I'm going to do all 13 Districts for the hi-my-name-is thing. And then, I'll do the Capitol!**

**Yet again, official theme for this chapter is "My Name Is" by Eminem.**

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Hi! My name is Lyme.

Hi! My name is Cato.

Hi! My name is Enobaria.

Hi! My name is Clove.

Hi! My name is Brutus.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

**All:** Except for that last one, we're the tributes and Victor Tributes of District Two. We're amazing and bad-ass, and we'd like to inform you of some problems here.

**Lyme:** Everyone, people, I was reading a fanfic.

**Enobaria:** You can read?

**Lyme:** Yeah, I can! Shut the fuck up while I'm talking! Anyway, someone spelled my name like this: L-I-M-E. And in another, they said I was named after Lyme disease! It's spread from deer ticks! TICKS, I TELL YOU!

**Brutus:** Sucks for you. Well, you know what? I was reading random SYOTs, and I saw tributes from our amazing District with the oddest nicknames!

**Cato:** Like what?

**Brutus:** Like "Brute Force" and "Gladiator" and "I-Smell-Fear" and "Beast" and "Fearless."

**Clove:** Holy shit...

Enobaria: I'm gonna rip out their throats with my teeth. I mean, really. My brother's name is Bryan. That doesn't mean I should suddenly start calling him Bryan "I Smell Fear".

**Cato:** Well, you know what? In the fanfiction world, everyone calls me Cato Ludwig!

**Clove:** Wow, how stupid are they? And everyone is under the delusion that I'm small-framed, short, and raven-haired.

**Lyme:** That doesn't have to do with your name.

**Clove:** Oh, yeah.

**Lyme:** Remember, everyone... Fast, Swift, Killer, Bloodlust, and Superior are not good tribute names. I've seen them before, and seriously? They're fucking retarded.

**All:** Goodbye, dear reader!

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**As usual, don't take offense, this is meant to be funny. Review! **

**I don't own "My Name Is" by Eminem. I might update later today! If I don't, I will tomorrow!**


	5. Hi! My Name Is D3 Edition

**Hey, thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them. :D Yet again, theme song is "My Name Is" by Eminem. **

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Hi! My name is Beetee.

Hi! My name is Wiress.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Beetee: Buzz off! Anyway, aside from said Slim Shady, we're the victors of District Three.

Wiress: Hello, reader!

Beetee: Yes, yes, that's all very well. But we need to get out point across!

Wiress: Oh, yes, sorry Beetee.

Beetee: Do you know what, Wiress? I just discovered a website called FanFiction!

Wiress: Fascinating!

Beetee: People spend time reading and writing stories about us! How interesting!

Wiress: You know what's really interesting? Everyone assumes that you and I are lovers! And that you are gay!

Beetee: GASP!

Wiress: Oh, did I offend you?

Beetee: *sighs rather shakily* No, not you... *mutters under breath*... I'm gonna kill those bitches...

Wiress: What was that?

Beetee: NOTHING, NOTHING! Anyway, remember our nicknames?

Wiress: Oh, yes! I'm Nuts, and you're Volts! Strange, everyone thinks I should be Volts and you should be Nuts...

Beetee: How odd. Anyway! Everyone thinks my last name says "Volts" somewhere in it. And they seem to think that that your name says "Nuts" in it somewhere.

Wiress: That really is odd! And you know what? I just read an SYOT.

Beetee: Oh, I love reading those!

Wiress: And people are naming tributes... Wire, Voltage, Sparks, Electricity, Techa, and Power.

Beetee: I'm speechless.

Wiress: And the last names! Switch, Lights... ugh, I feel sick THINKING ABOUT IT.

Both: Remember... be original. Just because our names are fucked up doesn't mean that there's not ONE Anna or John in District Three. Goodbye, dear reader!

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**Remember, review, favorite, follow! For fuck's sake, just read it. But I'd really like those first three...**


	6. Hi! My Name Is D4 Edition

**Hey, anyone who bothers to read this. Won't you review? Here goes!**

**As usual, I don't own "My Name Is" by Eminem.**

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Hi! My name is Finnick Odair.

Hi! My name is Mags.

Hi. My name is. What. My name is. WHO? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Finnick: Yo, get the fuck out of District Four.

Mags: Yes, leave us be.

Slim Shady: *leaves*

Finnick: Okay. We're here with a special message to tell you fanfictioners. My name is Finnick Odair.

Mags: My name is Mags.

Finnick: See, dear old Mags here has no last name. She was an orphan. She doesn't know her last name. That's why she has none.

Mags: Exactly, but Finnick, I can speak for myself.

Finnick: Yeah, you can, but no one understands it but me.

Mags: Oh. That.

Reader: What'd you say?

Mags: AARGH! FORGET IT!

Finnick: Well, we heard that long and clear. Anyway. F-I-N-N-I-C-K O-D-A-I-R. That's how you spell it. And her name is only four letters! Simple!

Mags: But Finnick, I just read this one fanfic. They spelled my name Mag. MAG, I TELL YOU!

Finnick: Calm yourself.

Mags: And Maggs. Magss. Maags. REALLY, PEOPLE! USE SPELL CHECK!

Finnick: Mags isn't a real word.

Mags: Oh.

Finnick: But you know what? I've heard Finick, Finnicky, Finik, Finnicc, and Finny Boy. Now, that is just horrible. I'm sexy. I'm a manwhore. And now I'm dead! AT LEAST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT!

Mags: Finnick! Some of these people haven't read Mockingjay yet!

Finnick: They have the right to know that I DIE! Anyway, and to my last name. I just read one in which I'm called Finnick O'diar. Seriously!

Both: Remember, children of the world. District Four is awesome and badass. And Stingray, Sea, Ocean, Siren, Aqua, and Fishy are not creative names.

Both: Goodbye dear reader!

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**REVIEW, people! I feel like shit when I see that some fanfics have like 3000+ reviews and I have what? Twelve or something? And most are from my twin sister?**


	7. A Special Message From District Four

**Okay, this is because I left out Annie in the District Four Hi, My Name Is. I DID THAT ON PURPOSE, EVERYONE! No, really, I did. I wanted to see if you would notice.**

**Instead of me explaining it (you'd never listen) Finnick, Mags, and Slim Shady will explain it.**

**Oh, and thanks to my reviewers, Catching Fireflies and MaximumAngel1. Both of them made me laugh! :)**

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Hi! Remember me? I'm Finnick Odair.

Hi! Remember me? I'm Mags.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Mags: What did we tell you yesterday? Fuck off! Leave!

Slim Shady: Just wanted to tell you all, I'm the real Slim Shady. And I'm standing up.

Finnick: LEAVE!

Slim Shady: *leaves*

Mags: I wonder where Annie was yesterday. She was going to come complain that people spell her name Anny.

Finnick: Well, I'm dead.

Mags: We know this already. You know what, I think I'm dead too!

Finnick: HA! I LIVED LONGER THAN YOU!

Mags: Hmph!

Finnick: So, as we're both dead, we can still see what the living people are doing. And yesterday, I figured out something important.

Mags: What? What?

Finnick: I'M A FATHER NOW!

Mags: Oh, so she was giving birth!

Finnick: But she has a message for the fanfictioners.

Mags: Oh? What?

Finnick: She is not naming the kid Finny, Finley, Finnick Jr., or Finicky.

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**See, I managed to add some naming stuff there! As usual, review! I've got 15 reviews now... so close to 20... please? If you read it, you might as well review it.**

**Oops, I forgot! I don't own My Name Is by Eminem. Or Eminem. Or Slim Shady (for those of you who are insane and don't like Eminem, Slim Shady and Eminem are the same person). Well, see you tomorrow with the District Five Edition!**


	8. Hi! My Name Is D5 Edition

**I'm back, everyone! Hope you enjoyed that last chapter. Thanks to shady66730 and Catching Fireflies for reviewing!**

**If you don't get the whole Foxx thing then read one of my other stories, Hungry for the Hunger Games. That's the story Foxx is from. **

**Oh, and I just started a new story! Check that out too, it's called Camp Recovery.**

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Hi! My name is... sadly, I have no name. But you can call me Foxface.

Hi! My name is Foxx.

Foxface: Go back to your own story, seriousl-

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Foxx: OH MY GOD I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU!

Foxface: Anyway, you two, keep it down. I can't make you leave, so I'm just gonna talk over you.

*In background* I can't tell you what it really is... I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady...

Foxface: Anyway.

*In background* No matter what you say, no matter what you do, Imma hunt you down till I find you...

Foxface: AHH! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!

Anarchy Girl: That happens to everyone, calm down. Still sucks, though. *goes back to writing*

Foxface: Oh, I remember! 'Kay. Everyone thinks that my name is Finch. People, really. Get a life. *sighs dramatically*. In the book, it never says I even have a name. So, officially, I don't. But just call me Foxface, okay?

Slim Shady: That's why they call me Slim Shady.

Foxface: AARGH! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRYING TO TALK!

Foxx: Did you just DARE...

Foxface: So, anyway. My name also has nothing to do with 'fox'. And that's about it, because I'm the only one who gets any attention from my District. *sighs dramatically*. ALONE IN THE WORLD!

Foxx: Goodbye, everyone. Sorry, I'll go back to my own story. I'm only here 'cause Foxface is alone in the world.

Foxface: Remember: Foxy, Evasive, and Sly are not creative tribute names.

Slim Shady: I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating.

Foxface: I SAID, SHUT UP!

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**Wow... I'm reading this over and wondering what was wrong with me when I wrote this... anyway, review! Sorry about the confusing bad chapter.**

**I don't own Eminem, or Eminem's following songs:**

**"My Name Is", "Love The Way You Lie", "The Real Slim Shady", "I Love You More", or "I'm Back". Tomorrow I'll have a less crazy District Six chapter for you all...**

**17 reviews... so close to 20... review button looking very tempting to click...**


	9. Hi! My Name Is D6 Edition

**I am SO sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday. I was ridiculously busy. And the website reloaded my fanfiction tab and guess what was deleted? This chapter and my Chapter Two for one of my other fanfics, Camp Recovery. So here I am today with 2 chapters, the D6 and D7 Editions! **

**Thanks to Catching Fireflies for reviewing. Sorry I forgot a second 'S' name. **

**And a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE thanks to shady66730! She reviewed 3 times and gave me my total of 23 reviews. Thanks so much! *virtual three finger salute, hands shady66730 tickets to an Eminem concert* Sadly, I can't guarantee that last one... :D**

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Hi! My name is Female Morphling.

Hi! My name is Male Morphling.

It's sad, but true... none of us here in District Six have names.

Naming is against our laws! Our _traditions! _

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Female Morphling: Do you have any free drugs?

Slim Shady: Nope

Male Morphling: Then leave!

Slim Shady: *flips them off, leaves*

Female Morphling: Where was I?

Male Morphling: The whole name thing

Female Morphling: Oh, yes. Since Suzanne Collins didn't name us, or anyone from our District, then therefore, none of us have names. We don't name anyone here. It just simplifies everything.

Male Morphling: But you know what? Everyone forgets that we're addicted to MORPHLING. Not morphine. Seriously, people. Spell check sucks. Morphling is SO a word.

Anarchy Girl: I just added it to my dictionary.

Both Morphlings: Yay!

Female Morphling: Now, since fanfiction is a global thing, the name thing is a global issue. Officially. People, these are not good tribute names: Addict, Drugs, Yellow, Sickly, and Lemon.

Male Morphling: REALLY? Sickly? Lemon? People, get original. Just because we have yellowish skin, really.

Both: Goodbye, dear reader!

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**Sorry again about the late update, I'm trying to make this a daily thing. Not the late updates. The on-time updates. In a minute or so I'll post the D7 Edition. **

**I'm not expecting you guys to review to a certain number (I learned my lesson. I don't want people wasting their time reviewing this multiple times.) But I'd still like reviews! :D**


	10. Hi! My Name Is D7 Edition

**Nothing to say, since I just posted a chapter a minute or so ago.**

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Hi! My name is Blight.

Hi! My name is Johanna Mason. I was lucky enough to get a last name.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Johanna: We're all sick of you! Get the fuck out of our story!

Fanfiction: This is violating the rules!

Anarchy Girl: I have been for a while.

Blight: That's it. Anarchy Girl, Slim Shady, and Fanfiction, get out of here!

Anarchy Girl: *goes back to typing*

Slim Shady: *leaves*

Fanfiction: *tries to delete story, then leaves*

Johanna: Anyway. I was one of the few people that got a first and last name. Not one of us was graced with a middle name. Speaking of grace, did you know that my name means "grace of God" or something like that? I looked it up.

Blight: I had no idea, but sadly, my name means "plant disease". I learned it in English class.

Johanna: Yes, that's right. Me and Blight, since the schooling in District Seven sucks, have decided to return to school.

Blight: But anyway.

Johanna: Yes, anyway. I've recently read pretty much every SYOT with a filled District Seven. And the names! They just DISGUST me. Axe, Jo-Jo, Bark, Acorn, Tree, Leaf, Seed, Stem, and Wood!

Blight: Really! Get original!

Both: We're very sorry for the short chapter, but we have to go hunt down submitters of said tributes and kill them. Goodbye!

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**Okay, no offense to those people that submitted those tributes. I'm not making up the names, either. Sadly. Review!**


	11. Hi! My Name Is D8 Edition

**I meant to update yesterday, and I'm really sorry I couldn't. I thought I did, but then my sister said she could see my chapter. I checked it, and I was like "what the fuck!" The chapter didn't get up for some reason. Sorry again, I'll do D9 today too! :)**

**Thanks to , Catching Fireflies, and shady66730 for reviewing! I got lazy and didn't reply, so here it is now. **

** : I know, for some reason I love spoiling books for people. *coughCatchingFirefliescough***

**Catching Fireflies: Nice interpretation of the whole "free drugs" thing. Sorry I didn't have 2 S names, I couldn't find two.**

**Catching Fireflies: I know, the fanfiction rules suck, don't they. :)**

**shady66730: I laugh every time I see that last part of your review. I'd probably have that reaction if someone offered me free tickets to an Eminem concert. *sighs loudly and suggestively* IF ONLY EMINEM'S NEW ALBUM WAS OUT...**

* * *

Hi! My name is Twill.

Hi! My name is Bonnie.

Hi! My name is Cecelia.

Hi! My name is Woof.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Bonnie: Leave us be! Everyone already knows your name!

Slim Shady: That's because I'm famous.

D8 People: We are too! Everyone loves The Hunger Games.

Slim Shady: They love Katniss and Peeta. Not you.

D8 People: That's it! Out! Out!

Slim Shady: *is pushed out of story for time being*

Woof: Don't even get me started on my name.

Anarchy Girl: *appears randomly in story* Oh, I forgot. Sorry if Woof is in the wrong District. *leaves*

Woof: See? She doesn't even remember what District I'm from. *thinks about this* Neither do I. But really! I'M NAMED AFTER THE FUCKING NOISE THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH DOG MAKES!

Twill: Calm down. Good dog.

Woof: I'm just speechless.

Bonnie: Haha. At least I got a real name.

Twill: Don't rub it in. Spell check isn't putting a red line under mine, so it must be a word. No clue what it means, though.

Anarchy Girl: *looks up 'twill'* It means this: A fabric woven to have a surface of diagonal parallel ridges. Like mountains. Like fucking Everest. *starts to leave*

Fanfiction: Wait! Don't go! Don't you realize script format isn't allowed here?

Anarchy Girl: *comes back* Yeah, but you haven't taken this down yet. Read my name. ANARCHY girl. I don't like rules. *leaves for good this time to listen to Eminem*

Fanfiction: *sighs grumpily, leaves*

Twill: Well, my name makes sense, since we're in the sewing District. I mean, the textiles District.

Cecelia: I have a real name, too! Thank goodness I wasn't named "Arf!" or something.

All: By the way, the following are true SYOT tribute names that Anarchy Girl has collected from our District: Sewy, Needle, Thread, Cotton, Fabric, Seam, Weave. Seriously, people! At least we haven't seen any DAMN-I-JUST-POKED-MY-FINGER-WITH-THE-SEWING-NEEDLE -s yet.

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**Thanks for reading! Argh, I hate sewing. I had to sew for home ec class and it fucking sucked. Goodbye, must listen to more Eminem music... **

**Anarchy Girl: Oh, I forgot. Reviews would be great! *starts rapping***


	12. Hi! My Name Is D9 Edition

**Thanks to Catching Fireflies, RueThisDay (who reviewed 4 times, thanks so much!) and shady66730 for reviewing! **

**Catching Fireflies: Yeah, I love that part too :) I didn't know Woof was a sewing term, oops...**

**RueThisDay: I know, it is a good name. Just too common in D4.**

**RueThisDay: Thanks!**

**RueThisDay: I know, I nearly fainted when I saw that in a SYOT tribute list. The worst part, they named a BOY Jo-Jo...**

**RueThisDay: Yeah, I was pretty shocked by that name. **

**shady66730: I know, right! As soon as I posted that chapter and read it over, I thought of that song :)**

**READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!**

* * *

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Slim Shady: *waits to be kicked out by D9-ers.*

Slim Shady: I feel so alone! *waits and thinks a minute or so*

Slim Shady: These Panem people are sure fucked up

All I do is walk in and go like 'sup

And they freak out and start

Screaming like someone's tearing their motherfucking heart apart

And then some crazy girl named Foxx

Starts screaming that she's my #1 fan and saying that everyone confuses her with an Avox

What the hell is an Avox, anyway?

I didn't really write this, Anarchy Girl did, with a rhyming dictionary-

Anarchy Girl: Shit! You weren't supposed to tell!

Fanfiction: This is not allowed! You are copying from a previously published work, including musical lyrics!

Anarchy Girl: Fuck that shit.

Fanfiction: Please note Fanfiction does not accept explicit content, such as swearing.

Anarchy Girl: You don't accept anything. How could I get by without musical lyrics? No Eminem?

Slim Shady: Wait... I'M NOT ALLOWED?

Fanfiction: Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc. are not allowed.

Slim Shady: I'm very historical! I'm real! Is it because I'm a white rapper?

Anarchy Girl: Fanfiction, lay off. These rules are bullshit.

Fanfiction: Your account will be suspended!

Anarchy Girl: Too bad. I have all my stories downloaded somewhere else.

Fanfiction: ARGH! I can never win!

Anarchy Girl: Anarchy is better. No rules. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Fanfiction, fuck off.

Fanfiction: *fucks off*

Anarchy Girl: There's no one named from District Nine. So me and Slim Shady will tell you.

Slim Shady: Rye is not a good name. Marshall Mathers is.

Anarchy Girl: Very true! Too many Rye-s from D9! Then again, I submitted an SYOT tribute named Rye for D11... R.I.P.

Slim Shady: D9 is not the grain district. They didn't have it in the book, it's not real. D9 is also weird to say. D12 is a good name, though.

Anarchy Girl: Do you want me to write out a script for you?

Slim Shady: No. I tore up that last one.

Anarchy Girl: ARGH! Anyway, he's right. They did make it up so D9 would have an industry in the movie. Now I must go and listen to Eminem.

Slim Shady: As long as I'm here, you are.

Anarchy Girl: ... I meant you rapping.

Slim Shady: Oh. Right.

Both: *leaves*

* * *

**Now, everyone. I need to explain some stuff. Yes, I did use a rhyming dictionary. Yes, I did write that. Yes, I did copy-and-paste some of the Fanfiction rules/guidelines. **

**I know you'd all hate this, but this could get my stories breaking the rules deleted. It could get my account suspended or deleted. :'(**

**But guess what? I have my stories stored in a file. So if my account gets deleted, then I can make a new account and repost them! HAHAHAHAHA!**

**And to you people that go around looking for stories to report for fun so the stories will get taken down- Fuck off. Seriously. It's not doing any of us any good. We all hate you. **


	13. Hi! My Name Is D10 Edition

**Wow, we're already at D10! To be honest, I thought I would've quit on this before I even got to D5. Thanks to everyone reading this, because I would've quit this after the first two chapters if not for you all. I don't know if any of you saw, but I had a month between Chapter Two and D1 Edition. I was seriously going to quit on it, but then, with a little inspiration from Eminem, I kept writing! **

**Thanks to RueThisDay, Catching Fireflies, and shady66730 for reviewing! I'm getting in the habit of replying in my A/N...**

**RueThisDay: I wasn't trying to complain, sorry if it sounded like that... I submit to SYOTs pretty much knowing that my tributes are going to kick the bucket.**

**Catching Fireflies: I know, then you'll probably love this chapter too...**

**shady66730: Yeah, I just hate those people that go around going- *insert mocking voice* "I'm gonna report you..." And five other words: I love my rhyming dictionary. (It makes writing Hungry for the Hunger Games and this fanfic easier) :)**

**This chapter is officially dedicated to readers, Eminem fans, and Eminem!**

**Shit, this is a long author's note... it's longer than some of my chapters...**

* * *

Hi! My name is Dalton.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Hi! My name is Anarchy Girl.

MY NAME IS FANFICTION AND YOU ARE BREAKING THE RULES!

Anarchy Girl: Fuck rules and fuck you.

Dalton: LET ME HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK! *thinks for a second* I hate you, you made me forget what I was going to say!

Fanfiction: Something in the guidelines? Were you going to educate Anarchy Girl on the rules?

Dalton: Oh, right. *sniffs, tries to keep from crying, fails*

Anarchy Girl: He was going to say, if you look up characters -you know, in that little tab you get when you search Hunger Games- Dalton is not a character. It says Darius and Delly, but not him.

Dalton: I DON'T EXIST! *tries to slit wrists with his teeth, fails*

Anarchy Girl: *escorts Dalton to mental hospital*

Slim Shady: *who surprisingly has kept quit* I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady-

Anarchy Girl: *to the surprise of pretty much everyone* FUCK YOU!

Slim Shady: Excuse me? Did you just say what I think you did?

Anarchy Girl: No, it wasn't you. I'm listening to your songs.

Slim Shady: Rapping along? I do say 'fuck you' a lot...

Anarchy Girl: Earlier I was, but now I'm writing! Come on, Shady, I know that if I try to rap and type at the same time I'll type this-

**Dalton was ALL I WANT TO SEE IS A SKY FULL OF LIGHTERS! HA MARSHALL YOU'RE SO FUNNY MAN and then he said A LITTLE BIT OF WEED MIXED WITH SOME HARD LIQUOR **

Instead of-

**Dalton was very sad that he didn't exist, and downright heartbroken. And then he said, "I just want to die, everyone!" **

Anarchy Girl: Damn I got off topic.

Slim Shady: I know, I am funny.

Anarchy Girl: ...that was part of your lyrics to your song, "Beautiful".

Fanfiction: This is not allowed! You are copying from a previously published work, including musical lyrics!

Anarchy Girl: ANYWAY- THIS ONE'S FOR YOU AND ME LIVING OUT OUR DREAMS- ARGH! Anyway, Em, they're censoring your songs! And it's killing me! They censor 'kill' and 'knife' and 'retarded' and 'tied up and she was pregnant with his kid' and 'dead'!

Slim Shady: WHAAAT?

Fanfiction: Good! No use of coarse language and swearing!

Slim Shady: ...

Anarchy Girl:... I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady.

Slim Shady: IDENTITY THIEF!

Anarchy Girl: Sorry! I was just playing that, and I felt like rapping along...

Fanfiction: Haha, better copy and paste those chapters! And your SYOT tribute forms! I'm gonna take it down! I will!

Anarchy Girl: *hurriedly copy-and-pastes*

Slim Shady: Fanfiction, those fucking rules suck

Those guidelines and rules look like motherfucking upchuck

I really like to cuss, why did they censor my songs?

I'm only doing this for the length of the chapter, it just prolongs

Anarchy Girl's author's note- I wasn't supposed to say that

But whatever, I don't need a rhyming dictionary

Did you know that my first favorite word is subliminally

And my second favorite is- OW!

Anarchy Girl threw her laptop at me- my second favorite word is BLAOW!

Slim Shady: *whispering* I made it up myself.

* * *

**Hope you liked that one! I know I did, but I want to know what you all think! *sigh* I do love that rhyming dictionary... and when people review...**

**I don't own Eminem, Slim Shady, the white guy from D12, Marshall Mathers, or any other name for Eminem. I don't own "Lighters" by Bad Meets Evil (I still think of it as an Eminem song...) or "Beautiful" or "Without Me" or "Stan" or "The Real Slim Shady".**

**Come along, follow me, as I lead through the darkness- never mind, everyone. Just review this crazy chapter.**


	14. Hi! My Name Is D11 Edition

**Thanks to Catching Fireflies for reviewing! I love that chapter! Unfortunately, these next chapters have more people from them. **

**ATTENTION! I am going to take a very short break from Fanfiction due to no internet connection in these next few days. So I will post this extra long chapter today to make up for it. Thanks! Still review, though. :)**

* * *

Hi! My name is Thresh.

Hi! My name is Rue.

Hi! My name is Chaff.

Hi! My name is Seeder.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

D11 People: We're all dead. All of died in two consecutive years.

Rue: Everyone... Well, there's nothing really about OUR names that you're getting severely wrong. But here're some SYOT names that just DISGUST me...

Chaff: Rue Jr, Roo, Wheat, Oats, Grain, Seed, Plant, Orchard.

Seeder: Now, really, everyone. I thought you'd know better!

Fanfiction: Chat/script format is not allowed! I thought YOU'D know better.

Anarchy Girl: Your rules suck. I mean, really? No coarse language? No smut? No sex at all? No drug abuse? No explicit content?

Slim Shady: I could give you explicit content.

Anarchy Girl: Not right now!

Slim Shady: Why not?

Anarchy Girl: We have Rue here! She probably doesn't even know what a condom is.

Rue: What?

Anarchy Girl: *finds the rhyming dictionary* Okay, Rue, leave.

Rue: Why?

Anarchy Girl: Just leave. This is for Fanfiction's ears only.

Chaff, Seeder, and Thresh: And ours.

Anarchy Girl: Fine. You're all mature enough.

Rue: *leaves*

Anarchy Girl: Hmm... let's see. Bring it on, Shady.

Slim Shady: The Districts are shit/ and everything's going to subliminally go down -BLAOW!- with the rebellion bit/ What the motherfucking hell is a mockingjay/ Who the fuck cares, I ran over one on the highway/ These bitches don't know what fuck means/ The only cuss word they know is hell, stupid whiny teens-

Anarchy Girl: Man, you're the baddest MC out there/ I get it that they don't know the meaning of 'affair'/ But lay off 'em, they're just a bunch/ Of poor little bitches who think a swear word is 'punch'/ You gotta pity them, Slim, but they're fucking annoying/ Suzanne Collins's names are so bad Mockingjay was a book I dreaded reading/ Panem means fucking bread, just when I thought it was a good name/ And who else really is to blame?/ But the writer of that motherfucking book/ Now everyone, let's take a look/ At what Thresh thinks of his fucked-up name-

Thresh: Personally, I liked my name/ Until I realized what it meant, now I want a nickname/ Maybe Rock Boy, that sounds badass/ And now, alas/ Which is a word I learned from Pres. Snow or something/ We need to hear from Chaff, my bro, darling-

Chaff: How dare you call me darling/ Bitch, Rock Boy, prick, something/ Must be wrong with you!/ I fucking hate you/ I used to think my name was sexy/ Until I figured out it has to do with our industry/ Now to hear from my favorite victor, Seeder/ Maybe later we can go get high on weed, er-

Seeder: I love my name!/ Why does everyone want to pick a fight, who do you all blame?/ Slim Shady and Anarchy Girl, die!/ And Chaff, I hate drugs, I don't want to get high!

Slim Shady: ...

Anarchy Girl: ...

Slim Shady: I get grand prize.

Anarchy Girl: Of course you do, you're the best rapper ever!

Slim Shady: You get first, Chaff gets second, Thresh gets third, and Seeder loses.

Anarchy Girl: Everyone, this is to Fanfiction/ You think you have the diction/ To make up a bunch of bullshit rules/ You all are a bunch of fools/ Quit fucking around here, this is summer/ Go and fuck with fucking Hitler!

[This chapter has ended due to Anarchy Girl's awesomeness :D]

* * *

**Hey, I made this chapter extra long because I'm going to have no internet for the next few days. No updates, sorry! I still would love it if you reviewed, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. As in, I'm rapping all of those raps right now. :) **

**Guess what, everyone! I didn't use a rhyming dictionary for this chapter! I feel so proud of myself!**


	15. Hi! My Name Is D12 Edition Literally

**Thanks to Catching Fireflies, shady66730, ThisAwesomeKid, and RueThisDay for reviewing!**

**Catching Fireflies: Bunch of awesomeness is right! I loved writing that chapter. **

**shady66730: Read and you will see. The chapter title may give you a hint! :)**

**ThisAwesomeKid: Thanks for reading, I don't get new readers very often. **

**RueThisDay: Yeah, it was harder without my beloved rhyming dictionary, lol.**

**ATTENTION! For all of you who don't know, the following are D12 (the group, not the District...): Kon Artis, Kuniva, Proof, Bizarre, Swifty, and of course, Eminem! (AKA Slim Shady)**

* * *

Hi! My name is Katniss Everdeen.

Hi! My name is Mrs. Everdeen.

Hi! My name is Mr. Everdeen. I'm here in the spirit, y'all.

Hi! My name is Primrose Everdeen.

Hi! My name is Madge Undersee.

Hi! My name is HAtajnskfknakch ARfvmefemee. *TRANSLATE* Haymitch Abernathy.

Hi! My name is Bristel.

Hi! My name is Cray.

Hi! My name is Darius. Redheads rock.

Hi! My name is Delly Cartwright. I LOVE THE WORLD!

Hi! My name is Gale Hawthorne.

Hi! My name is Greasy Sae. My real name is not Greasy, by the way. I can picture it. School role call: Sands, Michael. Here. Sae, Greasy... what the fuck?

Hi! My name is Hazelle Hawthorne.

Hi! My name is Leevy.

Hi! My name is Mayor Undersee.

Hi! My name is Mr. Mellark.

Hi! My name is Mrs. Mellark. FUCK THE WORLD'S ASS WITH A LOAF OF BREAD!

Hi! My name is Mrs. Undersee. I HAVE A HEADACHE!

Hi! My name is Peeta Mellark.

Hi! My name is Posy Hawthorne. Sadly, I'm team Peeta.

Hi! My name is Purnia.

Hi! My name is Ripper.

Hi! My name is Romulus Thread. I technically live in District Twelve, now...

Hi! My name is Rory Hawthorne. Damn, my family breeds like rabbits...

Hi! My name is Thom.

Hi! My name is Vick Hawthorne.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Slim Shady: Fuck. I thought District Twelve was the smallest District.

Katniss: It is.

Slim Shady: Then why're there so many people... you know what? Never mind.

Cray: BECAUSE I KNOCK THEM UP!

Slim Shady: I said never mind.

Cray: And I said, I knock them up.

Everyone: *sighs in exasperation*

Slim Shady: Hey, I got a question.

Anarchy Girl: *appears* Ask away.

Slim Shady: Well, I've been having a hell of a time going District-to-District here. So have you, admit it.

Anarchy Girl: Panem sucks. I totally agree.

Slim Shady: Oh! So you'll let me! *runs off somewhere*

Anarchy Girl: This cannot be good... *waits. a few minutes pass by*

Slim Shady: I'm back! So you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit. Cause I was high when I wrote this, so suck-

Residents of District Twelve of Panem: NOOOOOOOO!

Slim Shady: Haha, isn't this funny! I'm in District Twelve! Which you call D12 for short! And I'm also in D12! So I brought them with me.

Anarchy Girl: As long as you keep it quiet, this is gonna be a fucking long chapter.

Proof: Where are we?

Slim Shady: A place in the future called Panem, where everyone lives in poverty and hurt.

Bizarre: Sounds great.

Fanfiction: THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES! UNACCEPTABLE! JUST SLIM SHADY WAS ENOUGH! BUT NOW ALL OF D12? HORRIBLE!

Kon Artis: Fuck off. No one likes you.

Everyone in D12 (the group, not the Distrct: *laughs*

Fanfiction: NO ONE LIKES ME! *leaves*

Anarchy Girl: ... you know, how about you all can stay. To save time, I'm going to have the District Twelve people list the misspellings and misconceptions about their names.

Katniss: Kateniss. Katnizz. Katpiss. Cactus. Katmiss. Katbliss. Evermean. Evertree. Everdream. Everdrean.

Mrs. Everdeen: By the way, everyone... I have a first name. I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE TELLING YOU ALL IT!

Mr. Everdeen: Same as my darling wife. Love you. *insert loud, smacking kiss noise*

Anarchy Girl: Ugh. Get a room.

Prim: Prime. Primmrose. Primmy. Primmey. Primey. Prrim. Seriously! How hard is this?

Madge: Marge. Margaret. Maggie. March. Mardge. Undersee. Under-the-see. Underwear. REALLY, people! UNDERWEAR, I TELL YOU!

Haymitch: Calm yourself. Haymidge. Haybitch. Hablich. Hamilch. Hamlich. Abernasty. Abernathee.

Bristel: Bristol. Bristin. Bristoll.

Cray: Crayfish. Craay. Crayay.

Darius: Dareius. Really, that's the most common.

Delly: I haven't seen any! People just love me too much!

Gale: Gail. I'M NOT A GIRL!

Greasy Sae: Greasy See. Greasy Sea. I AM NOT A SEA OF GREASE!

Hazelle: Hazel. Enough said.

Leevy: Levee. I mean, I get it if you live by a river and are sadly familiar with said water restraint devices. But leave that to yourself.

Mayor and Mrs. Undersee: Everyone, it's UNDERSEE. Not Underwear.

Mr. and Mrs. Mellark: Nothing much. Everyone loves Peeta, I guess...

Peeta: Peta. Pita. Really, what have I done to you?

Posy: I'm too sweet for you to mess up my name.

Purnia: Pornia. PORNIA, I tell you! What do you people envision? Not me, but PORN! REALLY!

Ripper: All I've heard is Riper. And I am not ripe, but I'll still kill you with one arm.

Romulus Thread: Not much to say, but I don't have a brother named Remus, y'all.

Rory: It's not Roary. And I hate Prim. We're not together.

Thom: I understand my name looks like Thorn, but just please. It's THOM. Tee. Ayche. Oh. Em.

Slim Shady: Oh, Em what?

Thom: Huh?

Slim Shady: You said, "Oh, Em?" in an angry voice.

Thom: Never mind.

Vick: It's not Vicky. Hazelle named me and Gale girl names! Not cool! MOOOOOM!

Anarchy Girl: I have a question.

Slim Shady: Did you bring a rap group with you, too?

All of D12 (the group, not the District): *laughs*

Anarchy Girl: Damn, I wish I had a rap group. Nope. How many of you are dead now?

Mr. Everdeen, Primrose Everdeen, Madge Undersee, Cray, Darius, Mayor and Mrs. Undersee, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark: We're all dead.

Proof: So am I.

Anarchy Girl: *sighs* I wasn't asking you.

Slim Shady: These chicks don't even know the name of my band, but they're all on me like they wanna hold hands. Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man. All because I'm the lead singer of my-

Anarchy Girl: ANYWAY! GOODBYE! TOMORROW I'LL HAVE THE DISTRICT THIRTEEN CHAPTER UP! THEN THE CAPITOL CHAPTER!

Koniva and Kon Artis: Look at Em little punk ass thinkin' he's the shit. Yeah I know man by himself takin' all the flicks-

Anarchy Girl: OVER! OVERRRRRRRRR! THIS CHAPTER IS OFFICIALLY OVER!

* * *

**Anyway, yeah. Tomorrow look forward to D13 Edition! Damn. Long chapter... Anyway, after that, Capitol Edition. Then... *sniff sniff* The Hi! My Name Is mini-series will be over. **

**But after that, I'm going to have a new mini-series in this same story! Vote on the poll in my profile on which you want me to do!**


	16. Hi! My Name Is D13 Edition

**I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I don't even have any excuses. Anyway. (Sorry, I can't resist another Eminem reference) "That's why they call me Anarchy Girl. (I'm back) I'm back. (I'm back.) (ANARCHY GIRL!) I'm back." **

**That was a modified version of part of Eminem's "I'm Back". All I did was change the words 'Slim Shady' to 'Anarchy Girl'... okay, not funny. I get it. **

**Review reply time! **

**Catching Fireflies: Tee. Ayche. Oh, Em! I know, I loved that too. **

**shady66730: Yeah... RIP. At first it was just a typo. Then I decided that probably no one knew who D12 is (or was) so I left it that way. Sadly, only you noticed...**

**ThisAwesomeKid: Actually, they do! Some of the names I got from fanfics I'm pretty sure are deleted now, and others are from SYOTs. You're telling me you've never seen Pornia? Or Greasy Sea? **

**RueThisDay: It was kind of confusing. And I'm going to start another after the Capitol Edition. :)**

**Guest: Sorry to sound rude, but DOES ANYONE READ MY MOTHERFUCKING AUTHOR'S NOTES? Cause I've said I'm doing a Capitol Edition for a while now...**

**EVERYONE, READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM! YOUR LAPTOP/COMPUTER/WHATEVER YOU'RE READING THIS WITH WILL VAPORIZE IF YOU DON'T! AND AS YOU DIE, LOTS OF EMINEM SONGS WILL PLAY!**

* * *

Hi! My name is Boggs.

Hi! My name is Castor. This is Pollux.

Hi! My name is Dr. Aurelius.

Hi! My name is Homes.

Hi! My name is Jackson.

Hi! My name is Leeg 1. Stupid stupid twin thing.

Hi! My name is Leeg 2.

Hi! My name is Mitchell.

Hi! My name is President Alma Coin. Everyone forgets the Alma part, so I will remind you.

Hi! My name is Anarchy Girl. **(In case none of you got the whole Anarchy Girl thing, that's my pen name.)**

*EVERYONE WAITS FOR ANOTHER PERSON TO SAY THEIR NAME*

Dr. Aurelius: It feels quiet here.

Mitchell: You know, Slim Shady was annoying, but it feels really boring now.

Boggs: I don't think I'll be able to function fully.

Slim Shady: *appears* Really? You... missed me?

Pres. Coin: I suppose so.

Anarchy Girl: I did. For the two minutes you were gone.

Slim Shady: CAUSE IT FEELS SO EMPTY WITHOUT ME!

Anarchy Girl: Couldn't have said it better. Let's get going. Action!

Boggs: Guys. It really breaks my tough heart to say this, but someone spelled my name Boogs.

Everyone: *silent*

Anarchy Girl: I fixed the typo before I posted the chapter! Come on, give me some credit. I didn't MEAN to.

Boggs: BOOGS, I TELL YOU!

Dr. Aurelius: Here you go, Commander Boggs. Take one of these very strong prescription pills per day.

Slim Shady: *desperately grabs for the pills*

Anarchy Girl: STAY OFF DRUGS! OR YOU MIGHT DIE! AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE MY FAVORITE EMINEM ALBUM IS THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP!

Slim Shady: *stunned into silence* Huh?

Anarchy Girl: Fine, I'll spell it out: YOU RAPPED GOOD WHEN YOU WERE HIGH!

Slim Shady: So why were you-

Anarchy Girl: DON'T DO DRUGS! *bursts into hysterical tears. gets over the crying and keeps typing*

Slim Shady: Okay...

Castor: No one's misspelled my name yet. But someone unfortunately made a fanfic about me and my brother being constellations...

Fanfiction: It was smutty. I deleted it.

Anarchy Girl: Fuck you.

Dr. Aurelius: Spell check helps for mine. Aurelius is a word.

Homes: By the way, I am not homeless. Just telling you all. And my first name is not Tim.

Slim Shady: Oh, that really narrows it down then.

Jackson: I AM A GIRL, PEOPLE! REMEMBER THIS! No mistakes, really...

D13 people: We're the awesome D13 people. No one spells our names wrong. Except a few. *coughBoggscough*

D12 (the group, not the district): And we're D12.

Slim Shady: Oh good. You got the invitation.

*RANDOM RAPPERS FLOOD INTO DISTRICT THIRTEEN*

Anarchy Girl: What the fuck? You invited half the hip-hop industry into Panem?

Slim Shady: More than half. At least I didn't invite Lil Wayne.

Anarchy Girl: Thanks for that, at least...

Leeg 1 and 2: Everyone. Three words: It's. Not. Legg.

Mitchell: It's not Mitch.

Pres. Coin: Alma. Not Anna.

Anarchy Girl: I'm really sorry I couldn't find misspellings for pretty much any of them.

Kuniva: You spelled my name wrong.

Anarchy Girl: Refer to author's note.

*SILENCE*

Anarchy Girl: Who ever the hell is reading this/ Read my author's note and don't dismiss/ This stupid rap I'm making up on the spot/ This miniseries is about to end, I'm going out with a bang, thought/ It would be over with the Capitol Edition?/ Nope, I forgot Commander Paylor and Titus so I'm gonna take action/ Next chapter/ Will be shorter/ But it's going to be about them fools/ So fuck Fanfiction and its rules-

Everyone else: WE PREFER THE SILENCE!

Anarchy Girl: Well, shit. You didn't need to be that pissed about it.

* * *

**Important things! Like I said in my impromptu rap, the next chapter is purely for Titus and Commander Paylor, since I forgot about them. IF ANYONE NOTICES I FORGOT ANY OTHERS, TELL ME!**

**I have a poll on my profile! Please vote in it. It's for my next miniseries. The one that gets the most votes I'll write! It'll still be posted as part of this fanfic, though.**

**Another important topic: I forgot song credits! I don't own Eminem's "My Name Is" or "I'm Back". **

**And for last chapter, I don't own D12's "Under The Influence" or "My Band". **

**See you all soon! :) Review and vote!**


	17. Excuse Me While I Eat Your Brains

**Anarchy Girl is BACK! YES! She has came back from the mysterious land on no internet connection and is here to stay as long as she can.**

**Review reply time!**

**Catching Fireflies: Yep. It's true. *sniffles because Anarchy Girl has a summer cold* Marshall Mathers LP is my fave, right by Encore. And yeah... I read the constellations one before I had an account. The constellations had hot gay sex in the sky. **

**shady66730: YES! SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS THAT SONG! Not enough people know that one... Yeah, I kind of hate Lil Wayne. Not kind of. Whenever I listen to "No Love" I have to skip his part or I'll get bored. I'll try not to. :)**

**RueThisDay: Yeah, now I use the whole character thingy on the Hunger Games Fanfic Archive. I used to not, so that's why I missed them. :/ Thanks!**

* * *

Hi! My name is Commander Paylor of Eight. Just call me Paylor.

Hi! My name is Titus. Excuse me while I eat your brains.

Hi! My name is Anarchy Girl. I'm the amazing random rapper/writer that's writing this.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Anarchy Girl: As promised, readers, here is a short chapter ALL ABOUT Paylor and- WHO THE FUCK IS TRYING TO EAT MY FINGERS!?

Titus: Me.

Anarchy Girl: I figured. Go eat Lil Wayne. Damn, that sounded wrong.

Paylor: Dirty mind.

Anarchy Girl: Sexy imagination.

Paylor: You know what? Everyone, my first name is not Sew. Sew Paylor. That sounds like a motherfucking clothing line!

Slim Shady: To velour, even our clothing line's on fire/ As 50 would say 'Our clothing line's on Fiya'

Anarchy Girl: Oh my fucking God. Why does it feel like no one listens to Jimmy Crack Corn? It's fucking great.

Slim Shady: *bows* Thank you, thank y- QUIT EATING MY FEET!

Anarchy Girl: *just about dies laughing*

Slim Shady: It's. Not. Funny.

Anarchy Girl: Oh, yes it is.

Titus: It's not funny, it's tasty.

Slim Shady: *tries to run away with severe foot injuries* Youch! Motherfucker... fucking Titus... Goddammit...

Anarchy Girl: *goes unconcious laughing*

Slim Shady: Dafuq?

Paylor: Don't worry, this happens a lot in District Eight. We just dump water on them. If they die, we have the young children wave the flies away.

Titus: Is she dead? Can I eat her?

Anarchy Girl: *wakes up* NO AND NO!

Titus: Aw shucks.

Slim Shady: Someone got bandages? I'm bleeding a lot.

Paylor: Oh my goodness! Mr. Mathers, I think you are bleeding quite profusely!

Slim Shady: OH, YA THINK?

Anarchy Girl: Holy shit...

Slim Shady: *covers eyes* I'm too afraid to look. Wait no. I'M NOT AFRAID. TO TAKE A STAND. EVERYBODY! DON'T EAT MY FEET.

Anarchy Girl: Took your CD out of the deck, snapped it in half like, RECOVERY SUCKED.

Slim Shady: Hey!

Anarchy Girl: Oh yeah. Slim. I got a bone to pick with you.

Titus: Can I pick the flesh from all your bones?

Everyone: NO!

Anarchy Girl: A flock of little birdies told me that your net album is coming out July 2nd. That's pretty soon, man.

Slim Shady: Um...

Anarchy Girl: Wait... you are putting out an album, right?

Slim Shady: Um...

Anarchy Girl: You've been told you're too old to rap.

Slim Shady: Um...

Anarchy Girl: You think you suck dick.

Slim Shady: Um...

Anarchy Girl: GOD FUCK IT SAY SOMETHING THAT'S NOT-

Slim Shady: Um...

Anarchy Girl: ANSWER ME OR I WILL EAT THE REST OF YOUR FEET!

Titus: I have an ally!

Anarchy Girl: Oh, shit. I was kidding, Titus!

Slim Shady: Well, people are saying my music is getting boring. And that I'm too old.

Anarchy Girl: FOR FUCK'S SAKE YOU SHOULD BE GLAD THAT YOU LIVED TO 40!

Slim Shady: I know. *bows head in memory of dead rappers*

Paylor: Mr. Mathers! Mr. Mathers!

Slim Shady: What?

Paylor: Something rather unfortunate has happened.

Anarchy Girl: You mean, Titus ate his right little toe.

Slim Shady: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Anarchy Girl: Get it together. People don't need toes to rap.

Slim Shady: I do.

Anarchy Girl: ...

Slim Shady: By the way, you don't get a free album.

Anarchy Girl: FINE, I SEE HOW IT IS.

Titus: *burps*

Slim Shady: *hitting Titus over the head with a baseball bat* YOU MONSTER!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Anarchy Girl: I think Titus is in a coma!

Everyone: *waits to see if he is. he is.* THANK GOODNESS!

Paylor: By the way, guys. I have something to say. No one ever said I was a nice, middle-aged lady that loved children. I hate children.

Anarchy Girl: This is off-topic, but Radio Free Death (fanfiction user that reviewed my Pieces in the Game SYOT) It never says Paylor's personality. Like she said above. It never says if she's nice or mean. Or that, in my SYOT, she went over to the Dark Side like in motherfucking Star Wars with Luke Dickrider or whatever the fuck his name is.

Titus: *wakes up* That toe tasted hella good.

[This chapter has ended due to loud girly screaming from the two girls (Anarchy Girl and Paylor) and Slim Shady alike]

* * *

**I felt like it was funny. Was it funny? Anyway. Shout-out time.**

**I don't own Star Wars, Lil Wayne, Luke Dickrider I MEANT SKYWALKER GODDAMN YOU ARE NO FUN, Eminem, Eminem's album Recovery, Eminem's hypothetical new album, or Eminem's songs "Not Afraid", "Jimmy Crack Corn", and "My Name Is". Also, I don't own Bad Meets Evil's "The Reunion". The whole 'snapped the CD in half, Recovery sucked" was part of the lyrics.**

**Whew! We have 51 reviews! So I'm going to credit all reviewers. The guests will not be credited because I have no clue who you are. **

**Guests: 11 reviews**

**trenton-motal: 1 review**

**nevergone4ever: 1 review**

**MaximumAngel1: 1 review**

**absentee-note: 1 review**

**ThisAwesomeKid: 2 reviews**

**RueThisDay: 9 reviews**

**shady66730: 10 reviews**

**Catching Fireflies: 15 reviews**

**Sorry if I forgot you. If I did (and you're not a guest) just tell me. :)**

**Also! I just wrote a oneshot about the tributes in the desert arena. It's for the prompt 'Blood' in the District Fourteen forum. I would love reviews for it! *hint hint* **

**And naturally, review this too... **


	18. Hi! My Name Is Capitol Edition

**Welcome to the Capitol Edition. Sadly, this means that the Hi! My Name Is miniseries is officially... OVER. :( But good news! If you liked this, then I have a poll on my profile to vote on which miniseries you want me to do next. Please vote!**

**HUGE HUGE HUGE shoutout! When I was at summer camp (aka, the land of no internet connection, sunburn, and no Eminem music or hot water...) RueThisDay PM-ed me about this fanfic. She had this really good idea to make fun of pop stars who look like they're from the Capitol. Like having D12 in District Twelve. Well, that's what I'm doing in this chapter! Thanks so much for the idea. :)**

**Review reply time! I have to say, you three (Catching Fireflies, shady66730, and RueThisDay) are my best reviewers. You are AMAZING! *virtual three-finger salute and showering of free Eminem concert tickets for Eminem fans* Sadly, I can't guarantee that last one...**

**Catching Fireflies: I know... RIP Slim Shady's right little toe... I can't say much else cause your review was like, all quotes from that last chapter...**

**shady66730: Haha, I think I might've counted wrong... Anarchy Girl accepts the cookie. **

**RueThisDay: You bet he is. I looked at his profile and he had NO favorited stuff. And he had one story. And it pretty much sucked. :) I hope you like this! **

**GUYS! GUESS WHAAAAAAT? I found pictures for every one of my fanfics! Yay! You like this one?**

* * *

Hi! My name is Atala. This is Lavinia. Unfortunately, she can't talk. Cause we cut out her tongue!

Hi! My name is Caesar Flickerman.

Hi! My name is Cinna.

Hi! My name is Claudius Templesmith.

Hi! My name is Cressida.

Hi! My name is Flavius.

Hi! My name is Fulvia Cardew.

Hi! My name is Messalla.

Hi! My name is Octavia.

Hi! My name is Portia.

Hi! My name is President Snow. I LOVE ROSES. PLEASE FUCK MY ASS WITH A ROSE.

Hi! My name is Seneca Crane.

Hi! My name is Tax. I'm so famous that I have a whole day named after me... TAX DAY! EVERYONE PAY UP!

Hi! My name is Tigris.

Hi! My name is Venia.

Hi! My name is Anarchy Girl, the writer of this fanfic.

Hi! My name is. What? My name is. Who? My name is- *vocal scratches* Slim Shady.

Hi! We're D12.

Hi! My name is Lady Gaga. I secretly belong to the Capitol.

*Insert slutty, whore-ish, auto-tuned voice* Hi. My name is Nicki Minaj. I make the Capitol cringe at my horrible fashion taste. I am such a whore.

Slim Shady: NOT YOUUUUUU! I THOUGHT TITUS WAS BAD?

Nicki Minaj: Who wanted to hear Starships?

Everyone: NOT US!

Brainwashed, retarded Nicki Minaj fans: US!

Slim Shady: Listen, bitch. I have a bone to pick you with, you stupid hoe.

Nicki Minaj: Fire away.

Anarchy Girl: YOU TELL 'EM, SHADY! WOOOO!

D12: *applauds loudly and cheers*

Slim Shady: WHY DID YOU FORCE ME TO WORK WITH YOU ON A SONG, YOU WHORE?

Nicki Minaj: SHH! No one's supposed to know!

Anarchy Girl: We do now. Btw, are you an alien?

Slim Shady: IT DIDN'T EVEN MADE SENSE! AND YOU MADE ME RAP WEIRD! YOU! FUCKIN! SUCK! DICK!

Nicki Minaj: NO I DON'T!

Anarchy Girl: Never make a whore mad. She'll just strip.

Slim Shady: Let's rap battle, bitch.

Nicki Minaj: *thinks* Starships, were meant to flyyyyyyy.

Slim Shady: I got a bone to pick with you, Nicki Minaj/ You're getting beat by a former drug addict who never went to collage/ Shit, what I meant to say was college/ After this battle you're gonna need a bandage/ For every part of your body, fucking whore/ Why don't you come and explore/ Just what I do when I write these bars/ I can't tell how much I hate fucking pop stars-

Nicki Minaj: Starships, were meant to flyyyyyyyyy.

Slim Shady: Featuring me in a song, bitch?/ You think you can get away with shit just because you're rich/ I'm not lacking the money, but at least I have a brain/ And you don't, you can just go and starting sniffing cocaine/ Yeah, I was a drug addict, at least I know what's getting high/ Starships were meant to fly/ Nicki Minaj, you rap like you're high/ Slim Shady comes along and stabs out your eye-

Nicki Minaj: AHHHHHHHH! I GIVE UP! I SURRENDER! I'LL STOP RAPPING FOR GOOD AND START PROSTITUTING MYSELF. Hey... wanna be my first buyer?

Slim Shady: Let me tell you something, Minaj.

Nicki Minaj: What? *bats four-inch eyelashes*

Slim Shady: You don't wanna fuck with Shady. Cause Shady will fucking KILL YOU!

Nicki Minaj: AHHHHHHHH! *disappears*

Slim Shady: She's taken care of. Good.

Lady Gaga: Oh, Nicki! Where have you gone? *disappears*

Slim Shady: And her.

Anarchy Girl: Capitol people, you know the drill.

Atala: It's not Atalanta.

Anarchy Girl: God, I'm sorry. It's only for Hungry for THG.

Caesar: I personally like my counterpart in that fic. Julius Sexyguy. I really am quite good looking, aren't I? But sometimes people spell my name Sesar. And it annoys the fuck out of me.

Cinna: My last name is NOT Mon. Therefore, my name is NOT Cinna Mon. And also, Cinna is not short for Cinnamon.

Claudius Templesmith: No one spells Claudius right.

Anarchy Girl: You're telling me. I had to use spell-check to write that line.

Claudius: YOU SPELLED IT CLUDIUS.

Anarchy Girl: GOD I'M FUCKIN SORRY. HAPPY NOW?

Claudius: Yep.

Cressida: It's not Creesida, darlings. Have a nice day!

Flavius: I'M NOT A GIRL. Just sayin.

Fulvia Cardew: Did you know that fulvia is a kind of butterfly?

Anarchy Girl: My mind is blown...

Slim Shady: I knew that.

Anarchy Girl: What the fuck...

Slim Shady: Um... I read dictionaries...

Anarchy Girl: And yet, one of your favorite words is made up.

Slim Shady: BLAOW!

Anarchy Girl: Clock's run out, time's up, over, BLAOW! Get back, click clack, BLAOW!

Slim Shady: ...

Messalla: I excuse your misspellings of my name... I misspell it too.

Octavia: HELLLLLLLLLLLLO, dearies! My name isn't Octavian, by the way...

Portia: Why does everyone confuse me with Purnia?

Anarchy Girl: Because your names sound kind of alike...

President Snow: Coriolanus Snow. That's how you spell it.

Anarchy Girl: Wow, Coriolanus is a word... never mind. I don't know what 'corio' means but I sure know what anus means. So I'm just gonna Google 'corio'.

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

Anarchy Girl: The name of Corio creates a happy, versatile, and expressive nature, with good business judgment and a fine sense of responsibility.

Slim Shady: Don't you just love copy and paste?

Anarchy Girl: You bet. *thinks for a second* Wait... a happy, versatile, and expressive ANUS?

Slim Shady: Where does Suzanne Collins get these things?

Anarchy Girl: I don't know... I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

Slim Shady: PRESIDENT SNOW, YOU'RE FUCKING GAY.

Anarchy Girl: To all gay people out there... seriously, no offense to you. This is talking to President Snow, remember.

Slim Shady: Couldn't have said it better.

Anarchy Girl: OF COURSE YOU COULD! YOU'RE THE BEST LYRICIST OUT THERE!

Seneca Crane: My name is pretty simple. A name of an Indian tribe. A water bird.

Tax: No one loves me. Hardly anyone has fanfics about me. At least they don't misspell my name.

Tigris: HISS! I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY MISSPELLINGS OF MY NAME YET.

Venia: It's not Veinia. Just to tell you. Who would like a free makeover?

Capitol people: NOT ME!

Anarchy Girl: NOT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Slim Shady: Not... me?

Anarchy Girl: Woo-hoo, it looks like Shady gets a makeover.

Venia: Hop on this stool! What's your name?

Slim Shady: Marshall Mathers...

Venia: Oh! Very nice to meet you, Marshall!

Slim Shady: *silently fuming on the stool, mouthing 'someone save me'!*

Venia: Is brown your natural hair color?

Slim Shady: YOU BETTER NOT DIE IT! Bitch I'ma kill you! BLAOW!

*HOURS LATER, Slim Shady emerges from a mysterious cloud of pink fog and hairspray...*

Anarchy Girl: *nearly dies laughing*

Slim Shady: Do I look weird or something?

Anarchy Girl: *sarcastically* Oh, not at ALL...

Slim Shady: *grabs a mirror*

*He now has long fake eyelashes, a headband with fake bunny rabbit ears, and a fake scar on his temple*

Slim Shady: BITCH, I'MA KILL YOU! *tries to kill Venia*

Venia: *disappears*

Slim Shady: *rips off the fake eyelashes* OW FUCK GODDAMMIT THAT FUCKIN HURT! *rips off bunny rabbit ears* OUCH! *tries to smear off fake makeup scar* IT WON'T COME OFF, FUCK IT!

Anarchy Girl: Oh, I'm dying! I'm fucking dying! This is the most hilarious... oh God... Say it, Shady... it's in the script I wrote for this. WHICH YOU TOTALLY BLEW OFF.

Slim Shady: My name is Marshall Mathers-

Anarchy Girl: My name is Anarchy Girl-

Both: And we just beat the shit out of all of Panem.

* * *

**No! It's over! :( Oh well. Anyway. Tomorrow, I will close the poll on my profile about which miniseries I'll do next in this fic. Thanks to those of you who voted!  
**

**I was trying to As Eminem said in Hailie's Song, "Told you I can't sing. Oh well. I tried." **

**Anarchy Girl: Told you I can't write a non-crazy parody. Oh well. I tried.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed! **

**Review! Favorite chapter? Something I did wrong? Favorite Eminem song? Review it! :) Thanks so much!**


	19. Arena Sex RueKatniss Edition

**That's my fanfiction, I'd like to welcome y'all to the Anarchy Girl show... **

**Oh, sorry, I was listening to Cleanin' Out My Closet by Eminem. Great song. **

**So! This is what you voted for. (So this is it, this is what I wished for, just isn't how I envisioned it-) NEVER MIND, FUCK IT! Okay, it was a close one, but one more person voted for arena sex than Hunger Games blind dates. I actually was about to start writing the first chapter of that miniseries, but then I saw 1 more person voted. Okay. Review reply time!**

**Catching Fireflies: Yep! Well, sorry, I know I told you it'd be blind dates...**

**ThisAwesomeKid: Yeah, that was my favorite part to write. Thanks!**

**shady66730: I know, it was meant to be weird and random. I read it over and was like 'Wow, I wrote this?'**

**RueThisDay: I literally saw that somewhere. It was a little shocking. I hope this is good!**

**Let's start this off with some classic Rue/Katniss!**

**Okay, to explain, to include everyone's fave Slim Shady and D12... Anarchy Girl and D12 are the Gamemakers.**

**EVERYONE, READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!**

* * *

"Careers aren't the only ones that can have alliances," shouts Katniss. "Now come out from behind the dang tree before I pull it out of the ground!"

"No!" Rue screams. "You're scaring me! You're probably going to kill me! Evil, evil, person, evil, evil-"

"SHUT UP!" Katniss screams.

"YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT ALL OF THE TRIBUTES FROM EVERYWHERE IN THE ARENA," says Rue loudly.

"Look who's talking," Katniss retorts. "Now get out before I shoot you- hey! Where're my arrows?"

* * *

**Gamemaker Break!**

Slim Shady: Someone's in a bad mood today.

Anarchy Girl: Who, you? You're the one that complained for a week about how painful the makeover was.

Kuniva: Calm down, both of you. There's some action down there in the arena.

Kon Artis: What now? Can I drop a rock on Katniss and get her over with?

Katniss fans: NO!

Anarchy Girl: As the head Gamemaker, I demand that we wait until they're all nice and friendly before killing them. It'll be sadder.

Slim Shady: Aw...

Anarchy Girl: I got a bone to pick with you.

Slim Shady: WHAT NOW?

Anarchy Girl: It's a little bit after July 9th... AND I DON'T THINK YOUR ALBUM IS OUT YET...

Slim Shady: Eat shit.

Anarchy Girl: I'll pass on that.

Proof: Hey, they're making an alliance! If you count Katniss prying Rue out from behind her tree...

Slim Shady: *mouth drops open in amazement, leaps up from awesome Gamemaker chair* D-d-doody?

Proof: Uh... yeah?

Slim Shady: I MISSED YOU! *bear-hugs Proof*

Anarchy Girl: *bursts into tears as she listens to Eminem's "Difficult*

CRYING BREAK

*minutes later*

Anarchy Girl: Hey, look! Rue and Katniss allied!

D12: *wasn't looking* Whaaaat?

* * *

**Back in the arena...**

"I have a plan," Katniss informs Rue as they eat pieces of meat that looks like chicken. "We're going to blow up the Career's food."

"Really? That sounds like fun," says Rue. "What do I do?"

"Well," says Katniss reluctantly. "When I meant 'we' blow up Career food, I meant "I". You're too wimpy."

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screams Rue.

The birds fall silent.

* * *

**Back in the Gamemaker Central...**

Anarchy Girl: They're going to blow up the food?

Slim Shady: Good. It's about time. Those Careers aren't getting any skinnier as we speak.

Anarchy Girl: That reminds me! *presses a button*

*a rain of diet pills falls on said Careers*

Anarchy Girl: Seriously. That Cato dude is what, 250 pounds? Lay off the cookies!

* * *

**Back in the arena, later, Katniss hears Rue calling her name...**

"KATNISS MARIE EVERDEEN!" screams a voice. "YOU BETTER COME HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!"

Katniss looks around, for jabberjays. "That sounded like my mom."

"KATNISS MARIE EVERDEEN!" the voice screams again. "I'M DYING OVER HERE! LITERALLY!"

"Oh!" Katniss realizes, starting to run. "That must've been Rue!"

* * *

**Back at Gamemaker Central...**

Anarchy Girl: Are you kidding me? Now she figures it out? GAMEMAKERS, COME OVER HERE AND DO MY BIDDING!

Slim Shady: All I ever felt was this, helplessness, imprisoned by a SELFISH BITCH...

Anarchy Girl: EXCUSE ME?

Slim Shady:...

Anarchy Girl: Oh my fucking God! Rue's dying!

Slim Shady: Now she figures it out?

Anarchy Girl: Shut the fuck up.

* * *

**Back in the arena...**

"Rue! Oh my God, Rue! You're dying!" Katniss yells, skidding to a stop in front of a tangled net with a dying girl in it.

"Please..." says Rue pathetically. "Sing me a song."

"IT'S 3 AM IN THE MORNIN' PUT MY KEY IN THE DOOR AND BODIES LAYIN' ALL OVER THE FLOOR, I DON'T REMEMBER HOW THEY GOT THERE, BUT I GUESS I MUST'VE KILLED 'EM. KILLED-" Katniss screams.

"Never mind!" Rue says. "Oh, Katniss, it hurts ever so much. Please just sing me a good song."

"I can do better," says Katniss, cutting of the net.

**CENSORED BY THE CAPITOL**

* * *

**Back in Gamemaker Central... **

Anarchy Girl: *standing up on fancy Gamemaker chair, screaming at TV* SHE'S DEAD, YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE FUCKING A DEAD TWELVE YEAR OLD!

Slim Shady: *buries head in hands* If we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

Anarchy Girl: Stand up, you're the real Slim Shady!

Slim Shady: Oh no!

Anarchy Girl: What?

Slim Shady: The hovercraft took them both away.

Anarchy Girl: *buries head in hands*

* * *

**Okay, I realize this was not very good at all, and I'm really sorry about that. **

**If you want me to do a different miniseries, here are the options (this is not a poll on my profile, just review the one you want)**

**1) Stick with this miniseries!**

**2) Do Hunger Games raps!**

**3 Do Hunger Games blind dates!**

**4) I have another suggestion... _ (tell me a suggestion if you choose this)**

**Thanks everyone! Please review the one you want! I'd really appreciate it. :)**


	20. Blind Dates Prim and Rory

**I'm back, everyone! Okay, I have to admit, I was a little dissapointed with the lack of reviews, so I'm trying again here. I'm going to do one chapter of Hunger Games blind dates so you can see how it would be. Please tell me which you want! I didn't get any responses to my end-of-chapter question at all. Review reply time!**

**Catching Fireflies: I know. I couldn't resist adding that part, because I was listening to Em's "Difficult." :( Yep! She's outta the arena for good... fucking a dead body...**

**shady66730: I sincerely hope that was a good thing... :)**

**EVERYONE! READ THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE OR VENIA WILL GIVE YOU AN EPIC MAKEOVER, TOO!**

* * *

**At a romantic little Italian food place (that serves more Italian than just pizza, I may say...)**

"Hello," said a short, rather ugly little 12-year-old boy. "Prim, you look very nice today."

"Oh, thank you," said Prim. "This dress? I just got it from the Hob. Actually, I didn't. My sister Katniss did, because even though I'm 12, I can't seem to do anything on my own."

"That makes perfect sense," Rory admitted, sitting down. "After all, my brother Gale thinks that I'm very weak and can't do anything, too."

"Wow!" said Prim, sitting down. "Hm, what should I order?"

"I'm hungry," said Rory wistfully. "How about we just order everything? In the Seam, we don't get to eat much." They agreed. When a waitress came over, they gleefully told her their order. Her mouth dropped open, but she jotted down their order.

Prim smiled at Rory. Rory smiled back.

"We should get Gale and Katniss together!" said Rory. "They're so alike."

"I think they are already!" exclaimed Prim. "I was walking in the Meadow, looking for herbs, when I saw them kissing! They were so cute together. They looked like they were eating each other's faces."

Apparently, Rory finds that vulgar rather than cute. "Ew!" he says. "That's gross." Prim wrinkled her freckled nose. Boys. They could be just so stupid.

"So I told this one guy who said his name was President Snow, while he was at my house. I was being a good host! He was our guest, after all," she told Rory. "But then Katniss found out that I told Mr. Snow, so she shot me."

"She shot you?" exclaimed Rory, looking at Prim's shoulder, where she was pointing. He saw a bandage. "What a bitch!"

"DON'T SWEAR!" screamed Prim. "IT'S BAD!"

Suddenly, on that awkward note, the waitress came back with their food. They ate. And ate. And ate. And...

"Prim," said Rory, curling up on his seat with a green sickish face, "I think I'm dying."

Prim couldn't make a sound. She was too busy trying not to hurl. She and Rory thought that if they ate a lot of food, then maybe they wouldn't be starving. That was half true. Now they were in danger of heart attacks with all the unhealthy food they were eating.

"So, before I die," he continued, "I'd like to tell you that I love you. Very, very much." Prim was so shocked her mouth dropped open. Then she puked all over Rory.

While they both were screaming and trying to get puke off of them and yelling their feelings about each other, the waitress came over. She looked down at them. The table was trapping Prim to the floor. The food was everywhere. Some of it was regurgitated.

The waitress held out the receipt. It was so long it could've wrapped around the restaurant twice. "Who's paying?"

* * *

**Liked it? Didn't know what the fuck you just read? Hated it? Hated me for not including Slim Shady? Review it! Tell me what you think, I really need your opinions. Remember, please tell me if you liked this better than the last chapter.**

**Very happy Anarchy Girl moment! This fic, Random Hunger Games parodies, has 61 reviews as I type this! It is the 35th most reviewed Hunger Games parody! That's pretty good, don't you think? Okay, whatever... **

**NOW FOR THE VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION YOU MUST ANSWER! Okay, everyone remember how Slim Shady got a makeover from Venia? Remember what his makeover was? If not, go check out the Capitol Edition of Hi, My Name Is. On the same page? Okay. ****Every item of his makeover was actually an Eminem reference! Tell me the references in a review! Whoever gets the most of them gets a prize! ;)**

**The bunny ear headband (one of those cheesy Easter things) means:**

**The long fake eyelashes mean:**

**The fake makeup scar on his temples means:**


	21. Walkin' In The Seam Of District Twelve

**Hey! Sorry about the wait, everyone. Well, it's decided! We're going to do 13 more Blind Dates. ****And I am very pleased to announce the winner of the little contest last chapter! And the answers, because the winner KNOWS they won...**

**The Easter Bunny ears: B-Rabbit from 8 Mile! (That was so obvious, lol...)**

**The long fake eyelashes: Sorry, Catching Fireflies! It wasn't Nicki Minaj. It was either: some lyrics in Eminem's "Cinderella Man" or how Em dresses up like girls in some of his videos. **

**The fake scar on his temple: He pretends to shoot himself in the head in Space Bound and When I'm Gone.**

**The winner is... shady66730! Good job! Her and Catching Fireflies were the only ones that tried. :)**

**Catching Fireflies: Rebel Trash thanks you! So do I. **

**shady66730: I always feel like "what did I just read" after I write my stuff, sadly... I'm sorry! :( I figured I'd make the least crazy sample chapter as I could.**

**RueThisDay: Two reviews! Thank you! Yeah, sometimes I read pairing that just... ARE NOT RIGHT. As for your second review, I liked Blind Dates better too. Arena Sex was fun to write, but it just wasn't... very... good... And thanks for being the only one that told me which one to do! **

**TricksterOfPanem: Again, two reviews! Double pat on the back! I feel like everyone underestimates D4, and they're all 'They're the weakest Careers', which I really hate. Haha, it's a slant rhyme. HitlER, summER?  
**

**And... THIS IS NOW THE 33rd most reviewed Hunger Games parody! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! **

**Okay. This is a chapter than I just HAD to write. Seriously. Lots of credit to Catching Fireflies, who wrote verse 1 with me. **

* * *

_**Walkin' In The Seam Of District Twelve** _

**[Verse 1]**

It's a dumb job

BUT we burn the Hob-

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

In the Meadow we can shoot the poachers!

And pretend that we are secret spies!

They'll say, "Are you crazy?"

Well's say, "Yes, Ma'am!"

And we don't even care that it's a guy!

Later on by the fire

My whip will go higher

And hit someone's head

My name is R. Thread

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

It's just a dream

But we'll burn the SEAM!

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

**[Verse 2]**

In the Meadow we can pick some flowers!

And pretend that we are whorish victors!

They'll say, "I'll kill you!"

We'll say, "Go ahead!"

And we don't even care that we are dead

Later on after the fire

The bombs will go higher

And hit our poor heads

My name WAS R. Thread

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

It's not just a dream

My boss bombed the Seam

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

**[Verse 3]**

In the Meadow we can haunt the rebels

And pretend that we are still alive!

They'll say, "Are you dead?"

We'll say, "Dumbasses!"

And we don't even care that they're all gone

Later on, after Catching Fire

My ashes will float higher

And get in Katniss's hair

And I'll stop to stare

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

It's just a dream

But we'll burn the Seam

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

Walkin' in the Seam of District Twelve

Hauntin' in the Seam of District Twelve

*salutes* Snow!

* * *

**Sorry. I did tell you it'd be RANDOM Hunger Games parodies. And you know you liked it. Thread will haunt you, hit you over the head with a whip, and get his ashes in your hair... if you don't give me an opinion on this chapter. **

**I PROMISE the next chapter will be a Blind Date. Actually, it'll be *haha* Snow and Coin! It'll even be at the same Italian restaurant! Romantic, right?**


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